It’s a little unbelievable and surreal reading back over my blog. It’s the 24th September now, 4 months and 3 weeks since I last posted. 19 weeks. 191,250 minutes. And my life looks radically different, and I am different.
I left for America, and returned, with a summer of memories under my belt full of incredible experiences, new friends, learning curves and a richer outlook on life – but also with a broken heart, and single. I was shattered by the single person I trusted above all others (except God) and he broke that, and also me. I returned home, and went a bit crazy, or ‘off the rails’, for a while. But I needn’t talk about it anymore than that. It’s done now. I learned my lesson, though no-one expects the person they love to hurt them in that way…
I learned truly and in the rawest way that humans are imperfect, and while they are all still worthy of love, some must be walked away from, because they are not good for you anymore. He walked away from me and I went through the hard process of learning to let go of what I loved, because it was hurting me.
Can I tell you something? Something for every girl in a relationship with someone? Love is not supposed to hurt. It just isn’t. Rejection hurts, infidelity hurts, break ups hurt, anger hurts, pain hurts… but of all these things, love is the only thing that heals. If your relationship hurts, I beg that you leave. I would love to talk to you about it.
I lived with blinkers on for a very long time and didn’t see what was right under my nose. I will never regret that relationship, because it was wonderful for a season and I will never/could never hate him simply for all he did for me in that time. But it wasn’t healthy, and I wish for anyone struggling like I have to find someone to talk and pray it through with.
So here I am.
Nearly five months older – oh, in fact I began a new decade in my absence from this blog! Hey, twenties. It’s good to join you.
There’s a couple of snaps from my 20th. I spent it in Zizzi’s, Tombland and then Revolucion de Cuba for cocktails with my sisters, mum and grandparents. It was wonderful.
I now live down in south London, in Kings College halls of residence. God provided me my place at Kings College uni to study my absolute passion – nursing. I am so happy here; I’ve made so many new and awesome friends, joined the CU, found a church, had one too many nights out, and am in general thriving. ‘The pain of the past is dimmed in the light of a new start’
I hope this post finds you well, happy, and closely connected with God. I myself have re-discovered the beauty and value of intimate relationship with Jesus these past few months. Nothing like it on this planet. I’m so excited to be on this adventure he’s leading me on – when it goes up, and down, and round, I will stay close to him.
Well, I’ll leave it there. It’s good to be back, blog! I missed you.
The days 